It's In The Cards
I've been reading the tarot for about six or seven years now. I started out with a deck I got based on my favorite RPG of all time, Mage: the Ascension (and now I've marked myself out as a complete geek), later got one done by Dave McKean of Sandman cover art fame, and actually took a Greek Myth-type deck from someone who was reporting 'strange phenomena' around it. Yes, I performed a banishing rite on them. No, don't ask me how.
The trouble is, not only do I tire out quickly doing the readings, but I also end up knowing probably too much for my own good. While I do admit a guilty sort of mad glee when I deliver bad news to people who need a wakeup call, it's a little more difficult delivering the same kind of bad news to people you don't want to burden with the knowledge. Sometimes I feel like lying about what the cards say, but I've never done it. It doesn't strike me as natural to make stuff up when the story's lying in front of you.
So I end up in sort of a privileged-communication type of fiduciary relationship with many of the people I read for. I have had more than ten times the amount of vicarious living most people probably should have.
It's all right though, I happen to like it. It's just overwhelming at times. I came close to quitting doing readings a few times, when I started to feel burdened by the knowledge of things I'd read. But considering my life seems to be one committed to 1) consuming more and more knowledge and 2) fixing things, I know better than to leave this behind. I just have to learn to deal with it better, I think.
But I probably need a break anyway.
The trouble is, not only do I tire out quickly doing the readings, but I also end up knowing probably too much for my own good. While I do admit a guilty sort of mad glee when I deliver bad news to people who need a wakeup call, it's a little more difficult delivering the same kind of bad news to people you don't want to burden with the knowledge. Sometimes I feel like lying about what the cards say, but I've never done it. It doesn't strike me as natural to make stuff up when the story's lying in front of you.
So I end up in sort of a privileged-communication type of fiduciary relationship with many of the people I read for. I have had more than ten times the amount of vicarious living most people probably should have.
It's all right though, I happen to like it. It's just overwhelming at times. I came close to quitting doing readings a few times, when I started to feel burdened by the knowledge of things I'd read. But considering my life seems to be one committed to 1) consuming more and more knowledge and 2) fixing things, I know better than to leave this behind. I just have to learn to deal with it better, I think.
But I probably need a break anyway.
